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How to Keep Love and Peace in the First Year of Family Life?

18 Feb 2022   author: Yuko

Most young people entering into a marriage of mutual love, hope that they will have long and cloudless years of family life.

However, as reality shows, romantic feelings gradually cool down, and love fades away when it confronts the prosaic problems and everyday family life.

Preserving your family
Preserving your family

In addition, the couple has to transform their views on things and phenomena, as well as the foundations of life that were significant before marriage. Sometimes this happens painlessly and imperceptibly, whereas other young people experience a serious crisis in the first year of marriage.

A family crisis is an extremely tense relationship between spouses, associated with the need to change the behavior of both. Young people will have to work hard to save the marriage union, and at this point it is very important to know the causes of the crisis.

Summary of the article:

  • Desire to re-form the partner
  • Lack of attention
  • Birth of a child
  • Struggle for leadership

Desire to reform the partner

It’s worth saying right away that it's not worth wasting either time or effort on this. Numerous studies by psychologists have proven that a person's character is formed before the age of five.

After that, all the changes that happen to a person are insignificant, and, as a rule, they happen either under the influence of one's own life experience, or on the basis of those concepts that were formed before the age of five.

The first year of family life - how to keep love and peace? In order for family attitudes to be long-lasting and happy, it is important to give the partner the chance to preserve his/her identity and not put excessive demands on the partner in order to change established habits.

Lack of attention

It is important for a young married couple to pay attention to each other. In order for a partner to share joys and sorrows, both must understand that this is interesting to the marriage parther.

Partners need to say kind words to each other more often, make pleasant surprises, thank one another - making conflicts less likely to happen.

The first year of family life: how to keep love and peace?

In addition, psychologists have proven that any person, at any age, needs hugs to feel comfortable. In order for the 'happiness' hormone (endorphin) to develop, you need to hug each other at least four times a day.

Any signs of attention, whether it be pleasant words or hugs, are a pleasant sign, and mean much more than expensive gifts. However, everything must be done in moderation, you should not take the situation to the extreme and turn attention into an obsessive, obsequious or annoying care.

Birth of a child

The appearance of a baby in a family, as a rule, radically changes its foundations, habits, and family values. Conflicts can arise due to undivided responsibilities, impossibility to go to the movies or meet friends.

To prevent possible conflicts, a married couple needs to resolve the issue of distributing responsibilities, consider the idea of a separate vacation for each of the spouses, etc.

Among other things, young families are faced with the problem where the woman stops thinking about her own needs and turns into "Cinderella", only taking care of the well-being of the family.

A man, however, still wants to see a 'queen' in his wife. Fortunately, in modern families the situation is changing and women designate more time to themselves, their career, and personal self-development.

The struggle for leadership

It is in the first year of marriage that the couple determines who should be the leader in the family. One can discuss mutual understanding and the ability to seek a trade-off, but in order for the family to exist happily ever after, there must be one leader in the family (albeit an unnamed one). This person will be responsible for making decisions, organizing family foundations and developing the family.

So, the first crisis of family life may be avoided if the causes of marital conflicts are prevented and analyzed in time, and ways to solve them are found that may be acceptable to both partners.

It is impossible to give unified advice on how to avoid the very first crisis in family life, since every single person on earth has his/her own ways to build a happy family life together. The main thing is to appreciate and cherish each other!

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